The Blog of bipolarwreck

This is gettign very old now! 3 months...maybe a couple of hours a night never more the n4 unless I puposely OD on my sleeping pills!

Just watch a ton of movies and spend way too much damn time in the kitchen! My cupboards are empty agai nfor the thrid time in a month!  That might not be so bad if I actually ate any of the crap that I make!  Just never cared for sweets that much... 

Daughter is pushing me to go to a Sleep Disorder Clininc at U of M but I already have a firm belief of what they are going to tell me...its "physcological"!  I know its in my head...that is the damn problem!!!  I cant seem to get any of this crap out and into words and it just runs on and on...so tempted to go back to the bottle like before...self medicating like a pro again...if it weren't for my daughter telling me how proud she is of me for walking away from it and staying away from it even now...never felt so proud of myself!

I know my daughter is most likely right, yet for some reason I cannot bring myself to go in yet alone make the call.  It is starting to cost me relationships and causing a lot of undo stress,  as I am  constantly hearing "your not yourself lately" and "whats wrong with you"...questions that I merely have no answers for at this point in time...

Jsut venting...pay noattention to the man behind the curtain! lol